AFFI-Cup 2006

The 16th AFFI (Antifascist Football Fan Initiative) Cup took place at the weekend. Over 2 days, 32 mixed teams and 9 women's teams played out a tournament in a relaxed, tolerant atmosphere.

It was the first time I could take part, seeing as it always takes place when I'm back working in London, so I was quite excited. I was playing this time for the mighty TeBe Party Army, for only the second time, but I somehow got roped into helping out with setting up and a little with the organisation, not least as one of the teams, the Brandenburg Refugee Initiative (F.I.B.), were almost all from Cameroon and only 1 or 2 spoke German, so I was volunteered as a translator of sorts.

So I was up at 7 and at the Lasker Sports complex with Nikita (whose team played in the woman's tournament on the Sunday, somewhat of a motley crew who ended up winning the 'Golden Pineapple', I'll leave you to work out what place they finished!) at 8.30, where we took an age assembling the gazebos and putting out the tables, benches, and sound equipment. The teams arrived in dribs and drabs, and I was very relieved to see more and more of the Party Army turn up. Doughnut Boy turned up with the FBI boys, went throught the rules with them (eg 2 points for a win, refs only if wanted, any out-of-order comments or abuse meaning expulsion etc) before leaving me with them, as he was off to Leipzig to see Argentina- Mexico, the lucky dog.

The actual football started late, no real surprise there, but the atmosphere throughout was relaxed and chilled, it was great fun chatting with the other teams and having a bit of banter. I'll not go through all the matches in detail, not least cos I was playing, there was so many of them and I can't therefore remember all the details, for most games, I played about half of the 12 minutes, we were in a nice enough group, and were partnered with our friends and therefore rivals, Maccabi Pankow.

Here is how the TeBe PartyArmy fared:

vs Taktiker: 0-0 (an older 'troop' but had obviously played together before, Norbert's great keeping already on display as he earned us a point, i played in midfield-ish)

vs Suedschweden: 1-4 They outplayed us, far too fast, too much skill and great passing for us, this team would later go on to win the tournament. Bart scored a great long-range consolation, and Norbert really kept the score down.

vs FIB: 1-1 A good game against the refugee initiative team, I decided to go up front as we had no outlet or out-and-out striker and so were always on the defensive. From a corner, i took a shot that was hadled on the line, Bierverteiler put it in but the whistle was already blown for a penalty. Bierverteiler missed, putting it straight at the keeper, but I ran in to knock in the rebound. We conceded late on, but a draw was fair.

vs Havana Club: 0-3. An embarrassment. We were crap, 3 stupid individual defensive errors led to 3 goals, and they even played 2 kids against us when they went 2-0 up. Nuff said.

vs Maccabi Pankow: 2-1: A win at last! Against our mates, who had started off really well with 2 wins out of 3. From kick off, I managed to beat a few, get to the right byline, cut the ball back for Christian to run in and finish off. 3 minutes later, I beat a few people and put it in. Substituted myself straight after as I didn't want to do any more, where I was accosted by other mates who were fans of Maccabi. Oops...

vs Athletico Chancentod: 1-1. Bart scored another great long-ranger. I missed a sitter one-on-one to win the game late on after Mirko had played me through. That's all.

vs Volks...FC: 2-1 I started on the bench, Volks started really well, Charles, my man-of-the-tournament (who we tried to poach later on, only to find he was under contract :) ) running rings round us helping them to an early lead. I came on, beat round their defender and slotted past Carsten, someone I'd never scored against. Was very pleased with this :) Norbert kept us in the game again with some great saves. Then, with virtually the last action of the game, a cross was put over from Christian, right towards my head (I'd have missed) only for their defender to head it into his own net. We'd won!

However, this late goal was to prove disadvantageous, in my opinion. It meant we finished 4th, above Volks... FC and so we qualified for 'Division 1' the next day, with all the good teams. We really didn't deserve it, and I knew it would mean we'd get spanked by proper teams, as we weren't very good.


I also played for my 'old' team, Tschaika Leningrad, despite being slagged earlier on in the day by BC for being a traitor and for having lied about my allegiances (I hadn't, he was making it up). Their tune soon changed when they got a few injuries. We lost 1-0 vs Anker Friedrichshain and drew 0-0 vs old friends Mega Hudson, I played ok and was thanked later on by Chrischi...

Didn't watch the Germany game, but knew from the roars and firecrackers that they had scored twice, Maccabbi Pankow mates were so peeved that they all cleared off after the 1st goal. Helped with clearing up, then we headed to Tagaung, my dad's old favourite, for a wee review of how things went and many beers while watching Argentina - Mexico.


Sunday

Up at 7 AGAIN, early set-up again. Knackered. Was really flat from the day before, and tbh, not looking forward to the prospect of playing against proper good teams. The girl's tournament was running too and suddenly the organisers realised they had a bit of a problem with too few pitches and too many fixtures. The original plan was scrapped and a new one devised, this meant however that everything started well late and there was a lot of confusion, eg Maccabi and FIB having to change pitches at least twice, and there being huge gaps between our matches cos of the amount of games being played on our pitch. The temperature was 34 degrees, and on the artificial pitch, it was almost unbearable.

Like I said, I really wasn't motivated on Sunday, was tired, sore, knew we going to lose badly,  it was far too hot for me, our star keeper couldn't play, the reserve was too pissed to play, plus I was busy trying to sort out the refugee stuff and helping Nikita out over on the other pitches. I think the other boys were relying on me too much, but I had other things to sort out.

For example, I refereed two games over on the pitches where the girls' tournament was taking place, one girls' game between Liga Monsen II and SC Lurich (0-0) and one between Die Tagung and FIB (0-1), no stress or shit from the players and it was fun to referee, believe it or not. I played one game for Tschaika, another draw 0-0, vs the Zeugen Yeboahs (Yeboah's Witnesses!)

Anyways this is how we played on the Sunday:

vs Humboldthainis: 0-0. Outplayed, Benjamin, new keeper, made a few great saves from long-rangers, but we could have won it at the end when Bart narrowly put it over after bursting through on the right.

vs Soja Project (hosts): 0-2. We were skinned. They were all about 18, full of skills and tricks, and way too hot for us, we were slow, laboured, empty of ideas and chasing shadows as a result. This match really pissed me off. We were rubbish, and out of our league.. At this point I went off for a while, helped out with buckets of water, sorting food out, etc.

vs Schwarze Lunge: 0-1. Same again, outplayed, though they took it easy on us, Benjamin made a couple of good saves, no real chances up front. Not much fun, and sweltering hot. We'd not enough subs left at this point, so I had to last the whole 10 minutes (!)
As last in our group, the highest place we could finish was 13th. Doughnut Boy and his 2 mates over from England, Dan and Mike, arrived to hopefully see us show some sexy football. But our opponents, Jugendklub Friedrichshain, had already gone, so we won by default. We cheered, but I was disappointed.

vs Antifa Kickers Kreuzberg: 1-0. Our last game, and we played well, against a very fair and nice team. I had a shot blocked, rebound came back to me, laid it off to Bart, who finished again with aplomb. I had a gift of a chance late on, when we broke clear from our own 18, the keeper was miles off his line, and I tried to lob him from about the half way line (of half a pitch), but it skewered wide, Geoff Thomas-style.

So we finished 13th. Out of 32. Not bad, but a little generous on our part. We all headed over to the other pitches to watch the finals of divisions 1 and 2. Volks...FC won division 2, and 17th place, deservedly. In the final of the whole thing, most of us were rooting for The Running Assholes, who helped organise this year's tournament and for whom i've played before. And... they lost in the final. for the third time. On penalties. Again.

I disappeared off for a bit of the prizegiving to see how crappy England were getting on, and returned to find that mighty Norbert had been voted keeper of the tournament. Woo hoo! All of our other players had gone, so I went up to get our 13th place certificate, along with a ball, to warm applause. Here it was announced that any profits made from the pre-party will go to helping with the costs for Rene K.'s trial and campaign, a Berlin friend arrested and thrown in prison for as yet unexplained reasons after the CSD in Warsaw, and to the Antirassisti Mondiali in Italy.

Then I headed back for the rest of the England game, had a few chats with new friends and exchanged contact numbers and emails, said goodbyes, then we headed to Tagung for a deserved drink. then to Baiz for the hilarious Portugal Holland battle, then home to bed.

Today, every part of my body hurts, especially my swollen ankle, twisted blocking a free-kick in the last match yesterday. And my sunburnt (almost-)skinhead. But I had a cracking weekend. Photos hopefully to follow from Nikita and Doughnut Boy.

Many many thanks To Nikita, St., Joe, Rene, Chrischi, and co. for making it such a successful and fun tournament. Bis naechstes Jahr...

The Greatest Fans In The World

So after the team's unbelievable win in the cup (match report to follow soon I promise)it was the turn of the fans, at the Academic Fan Song Competition away in the East at the Kulturbrauerei. If we were going to win this then it was going to be an "Away Match" but being near the JSP the mood was hopeful.



Even before the match we were getting a bit of press attention. It seems everything to do with football has a high media profile at the minute.



"So who are going to win the World Cup?"

"TeBe of course, we won in May."

"No, the World Cup"

"Oh that little pot... Ireland"

"But Ireland aren't playing!"

"Thats what I like about them - and the music and the beers"



The Jury! Well its worth noting here that the "referee" is some English guy (and in the same breath for later worth noting that there was free beer for him!) and in the jury there was Hagen, TeBe's press spokesman. A Union fan was in the jury to even things up and there was also a Bremen fan and a Torgelow/ Barcelona fan. I dont quite remember the exact life story that they all had to explain as I was bloody nervous at the time.



So these are quite obviously the Hertha fans - The haircuts, drunken appearance and general blue and white style give that away. But the biggest group, a lot of highly motivated younger ones there and a generally nice bunch. Bad luck for them to start first me thinks and they also had the disadvantage that their songs are generally quite well known already. Strange thing is, the last time I had visitors in Berlin who insisted on seeing Hertha, the Hetha fans were singing different songs - namely "Hoeness Raus!" - but here on the stage they were going on about winning the Champions League! Jim Hancot has made up a little ditty for them:

In 31, and this is true
A trophy was won by a team in blue
Its been a long time, since that date
So we sing em a song that they fucking hate!
75 years F-all!
75 years F-all!

etc, etc. Well there's nothing like keeping up a record like that: After seeing the Hertha fan, I knew that however bad this might go for us, we couldnt be worse than them. Last place was in the bag, a very blue and white bag.



Next up was Togo, that famous German football team. Perhaps for a bit of variety, (certainly to add a bit of musical talent) the Togo supporters group were entered into the competition. What can you say? They were bloody amazing but not really anything to do with football. So from then on I knew that they were either going to win and this was just some hospitable Germany rubbish that I had been invited to, or they were just there to get a bit of media interest - something they certainly managed. Togo were impossible to predict but very professional.



Next up were Union. This was the older fraction of fans who have been going there for over 20 years. Imagine what that must do to the brain and that may certainly explain some of the haircuts. The young lady in the middle is only 19 but had apparently been a fan since she was 4. They were good, but a bit too good really with choir-like performances. Hertha still certain last place but this could go either way. Our only hope now is that the jury really are looking for nutcase fans to give this prize too because that we could pull off - otherwise its Togo or Union.



Oh Shit. We are on the bloody stage. The same stage I saw some top acts play on and little me. Its so high up and despite being half empty it looks packed with everyone staring at you. How the hell can we pull this off?





Come on Andy, get yourself together. Think of the prize..... mmmmmm beer. Think of the enjoyment of beating Hertha and Union in one night rather than 1 cup run. Lets get this show on the road.



Oh that free beer is starting to take its effect on the English referee guy and he is getting a bit chatty. Alex is giving him some speech on the TeBe fan scene, no-go areas, cheap council housing for everyone, pensions, keeping nurses in the NHS, a dentist for everyone, the importance of unions and something or other haunting Europe. Dont give either of these two a mic - I need to start now or I am going to faint. Lets go!



The referee has finally remembered that its a singing competition and not an interview with Tony Benn so we can start.




Singing out the classics.... Hard to say how we did really as I didnt see myself. I thought our songs were the funniest, the jokes the best, the covers very original and the performance pure class. After about the third song we all sort of realised what Ultras71 seemed to have grasped from the start - If you are going to make a fool of yourselves on camera then you might as well do it 100%. I dont think we will win this though.



More rubbish football fan classics put on while the jury make their decision so the veterans decide to get down and shake their stuff with the Togo fans. Apparently emails have been swapped and we have been invited to pop along and watch some games with them in a pub, trying to spot Denis Borussia in the crowd. A fan friendship with a national team is quite a strange idea for a small team in the German lower leagues.

The jury take ages....



... finally a decision. Now I dont want to do the man an injustice but the English referee showmaster seems a bit drunk, well very drunk. Its terribly hot on the stage and he is sweating a bit and his shorts are itching. At one point with his back to the audience he seemed to be scratching his bum in front of national TV cameras. This terrible sight was luckily edited out of the film clip.

The decison really drew out for ages, each of the jury giving their views on all 4 teams and then a points collecting part and a reading out the scores bit. Jim Hancot who doesnt even remember how he got home that night amazingly remembers the scoring perfectly, so I will quote him:

We got off stage, got our free beer with our token things, and the wait began. There was a jury of 4 who voted on the whole thing, and they took time to deliberate. Then the comments about each team, which were mostly always complimentary and non-commital, and the results, in order of performance. Iirc, Hertha got 91 (out of 120), Togo 96, Union a bit less, then came our results. The first fu cking judge gave us 11/30, that was it, I thought. Then the others. 29, 29, 30!!! There was a load of celebration, but I was a bit pissed and not too good at the maths, so I stayed seated on the floor and didn't even realise we'd won till I saw all the others storming onto the stage.

A real pitch invasion it was too. Shame that the referee and most of the jury forgot to metion that we werent all boys but there was also female participation in our team, constantly refering to us as the lads from TeBe. Thanks Tanya for taking part.



Bring it on! We Always Win The Cup On Wednesdays!



What won it for us was really the way we managed to get the opposing fans up for singing back at us - and the way we didnt let it put us off, rather singing back at them. There were only a few of us too, which made our half drunken performance quite neat and helped keep us together. On the original invitation there was only meant to be 5 fans per team but this was apparently changed. We didnt find out until the day before. I wasnt even going to take part but was badgered into it by Red devil a few hours before when it was realised that we were too few. 3 hours later I am on the stage in a winning team with a silly hat, a beer cooler and pump and 4 little barrels of Becks to put into it.

Our pitch invasion seemed to have kipped the show a bit too. I think there was to be a captain invited up, probably thanks to sponsors and the jury and then we might have been asked to sing a song for the cameras. We were just suddenly on the stage and singing, getting an incredibly reaction from the other fans. The Togo fans were cheering, the other two groups singing back at us. "Purple White - West Berlin Shite" was sung by them and sung back by us after a round of applause. All very friendly apart from one Union fan who accused our running list of being song words - i.e. accused us of cheating and then wanted a fight with Ultras71 afterwards. This wouldnt have been a good idea because he certainly would have lost against the big man and would have been very scared if he knew the implications of beating up that one certain person. Perhaps he should watch the TV on Friday night to find out how close he was to the silliest decision of his life. The Hertha fans were great, the other Union fans took it well despite the fact that they felt they should have won and the Togo fans didnt really seem to care about the in fighting of Berlin football clubs - and why should they.



We were then asked if we would sing a song for the German national team with the other fans - this was then changed to a simple singing of "We are going to the final" so as to show the wishes of the Togo and German fans to see their team win the world cup. Not my team was Jim Hancot's answer. Others offered to sing a new rendition of "Group Stage Exit" for the German team and most were willing to sing "3 Lions". I was pleased that nobody sang "10 German Bombers" as I would have been the first "England Fan" to cause a scandal in the World Cup media madness.



A quick pose for the TV and radio and a few silly interviews. Most of the fans deciding to go for cheesy lines for the cameras:

Interviewer: How are you going to celebrate?
Jim Hancot: Well I am going to drink up every drop of this beer!

And the Ultras71 classic:

We had the dream of winning the cup and we went and made it reality!

Well done everyone and thanks to all those who took part in such good spirit. Special thanks to Ultras71 for keeping it together and not being nervous in front of the cameras.

Here the video from ZDF that was on TV today. We are famous! Well some of us were famous before anyway.

Ultras71 can be found here, Jim Hancot here, Jan here and Lila Kanal here and here.

There's only one Team in Berlin! (the Hancot version)

Last night, there was a 'fan song contest' held in Berlin as part of the cheesy build-up for the WORLD Cup. TeBe decided to enter as a bit of fun and to gain some more sympathy and friends.

In the end, there were only 4 fan groups represented: Hertha BSE, Union Berlin, Togo (!) and TeBe (Bayern Munich and Cologne pulled out at the last minute). A few beers to 'oil the voice' and then we arrived at the Kulturbrauerei to be met by a large group of asthetically unpleasing Hertha fans, who were nonetheless friendly enough despite well outnumbering us. A few more beers were fetched then we entered the cavernous Kesselhaus. Bear in mind at this stage that we were only 7, as someone had falsely informed us that only 5 could sing, when in fact up to 20 were permitted... luckily, we got some back-up later after a demo from Doughnut Boy, Red Devil, 'Nikita' and 'Devil'.

We spent an age deciding on the songs to be sung and the order (such prima donnas :) ) and in the meantime some more beers were drunk, either those smuggled in or tasty Staropramen 'taken' from the VIP room :) We had an impressive line-up of songs, 24 in all, not all of which I knew and I had to spend some time learning 1 or 2 new ones, including one in Hebrew:


Thanks to Ultras71 for the list and the pic (he's the eejit on the video clip with the Holland helmet that he got off ebay!)

Loads of TV and radio crews were present, and interviews were given by our senior representatives (eh Ping Ping Alex?!) but I stayed in the background and kept the banner flying high.

The draw was kind to us. We were due on stage last, time to oil the voices some more and laugh at the others (or shit ourselevs at how we were going to screw up big-style)

Then the fun began. Hertha were up first, and were a bit poo. Too many on stage at once, too many wee girls (nothing against wee girls, but they can't sing football songs, this is a FACT) and too many drunken bums, plus their songs were dull and uninspired.

Then Togo. To be honest, they kicked ass, drums, new songs, dancing, performance-wise, they were the mutt's nuts. HOWEVER, not much in the way of songs, especially not in the way of piss-take songs (their only one was 'South Korea? Out! France? Out! Saudi Arabia? Out! Togo - World Champion!) and imo there should have been a special category for international teams, either way it would have been unfair. But they still rocked the place.

Then a wee DJ break, then Union, our big Eastern rivals. Tbh, I thought they were damn good. They had loads of supporters too, whereas we had, erm, no-one (TeBe doesn't have any fans, after all). Some good anti-Vorwaerts and anti-Dynamo songs, well-sung, they got lots of applause (also from me) after each chant, but imo their songs tending to go on a bit long, and they didn't have enough variety.

Then it was our turn. I thought we were a bit disappointing, possibly cos we were so few, possibly cos the crowd didn't really react much to us or looked non-plussed (we got a few rounds of applause) but we did manage to unite Union and Hertha fans in hatred against us in anti-TeBe songs (lila-weisse! Westberliner Scheisse! which we sang along with to wind them up even more :) ) which I suppose was a success in itself, after all, that's what the piss-take songs were all about... We were led superbly by Ultras 71, a big crazy eejit with a purple wig and Holland helmet (I love you big man ;) )Our repetoire frankly kicked ass, from versions of 'Buffalo TeBe', 'TeBe Party Army', 'God save TeBe' (which I sang for once! All in the cause, but NEVER AGAIN!) versions of the Soviet and Italian national anthems; to a mockery of other fans calling us gay because of our purple colours, with the songs 'lila-weiss ist schwul' (purple-shite is gay) and 'Wir sind TeBe, wir sind TeBo, und wir wollen in euren Po' (We're TeBe, We're TeBo, and we want in your asses!) to the coup de grace, 'Caravan of Love' a la TeBe.

The English moderator guy was a bit of a penis to be honest, he knew his stuff but just talked crap and was a bit peinlich (embarrassing).

We got off stage, got our free beer with our token things, and the wait began. There was a jury of 4 who voted on the whole thing, and they took time to deliberate. Then the comments about each team, which were mostly always complimentary and non-commital, and the results, in order of performance. Iirc, Hertha got 91 (out of 120), Togo 96, Union a bit less, then came our results. The first fu cking judge gave us 11/30, that was it, I thought. Then the others. 29, 29, 30!!! There was a load of celebration, but I was a bit pissed and not too good at the maths, so I stayed seated on the floor and didn't even realise we'd won till I saw all the others storming onto the stage.

So I bounced up and jumped around like a loon. Our prize was 3 little barrels of Becks and and a portable tap-thing. We hoisted them in the air like trophies and sang a few more provocative songs, much to the disgust of most of the other fans, who then left. Others stayed and congratulated us, and interviews were given again.

I was even interviewed, I said sth cheesy and predictable along the lines of:

Interviewer: "So how you going to celebrate then?"
Me: "By drinking every last drop of these barrels now, we have to!"

A video of the event, which is a bit cheesy and hardly features the winners, can be viewed here.

A bit of dancing was done to the Togo beat, then we dropped off the beers at Doughnut Boy's (he better make sure the TeBe fans get to drink it, although the World Cup does begin tomorrow...) and then some more celebratory beers outside the Kastanie with Bronski and Thorsten and co, where I was hassled by some freaky Catholic Jesus freak who called me a fascist because I asked him why he only played me Catholic rebel tunes on the tin whistle he happened to have with him. My repeated question of "I'm an athiest. Are you a Catholic?" soon had the fecker scarpering, though he still managed to give me his card, which is in Mauerpark somewhere!

So TeBe fans managed to follow the players in representing the club prestigiously and winning the trophy. I think some of the players should have been there to support US for once!

"EVERY WOMAN, EVERY MAN, JOIN THE CARAVAN OF LOVE, TEBE, TEBE TEBE!"